What would all the world’s experts and authorities say today if the Titanic were sinking but nobody was willing to admit it?

And much like with the Titanic, most “experts” continue to claim the U.S. economy is unsinkable, despite the obvious evidence that we might want to start heading for the life rafts.

Flying silver carp jump and leap out of the water and into our boat.

Indiana Outdoor Adventure TV hosts Troy McCormick and Mac Spainhour fend off the 20 pound fish as they attack the boaters and provide a boatload of fun and adventure.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

FOR THOSE THAT DON’T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. However, do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the Bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the dDoor. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years, canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, Dear pets, I have posted the Following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don’t.
(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture..
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don’t ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don’t smoke or drink,
(7) don’t want to wear your clothes,
(8) don’t have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college

AND!

(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children….

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following :

Please accept with no obligation , implied or implicit , my best wishes for an environmentally conscious , socially responsible ,low stress , non addictive , gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011 , but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee .

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms :

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher .

Best Regards ( without prejudice )

Name withheld ( Privacy Act ).

“If the winner of the election were to be decided by the ads, we’d be ruled by GetUp” (Karl Quinn, Entertainment Editor, The Age).¹ Have you seen our latest election ad on climate change?

Dear Glenn,

In 2007 Australia held what was widely called “the world’s first climate change election.” We all know what happened – the Australian people demonstrated a powerful community consensus on taking strong action to reduce carbon pollution.

That’s why it is so surprising that what Labor announced yesterday involved no emissions trading scheme for at least 3 years, no promise to turn back rising pollution in the next 3 years and no price on pollution. Even the pledge to rid the country of dirty coal power depends on carbon capture and storage technology that may not exist for 20 or 30 years, if ever.

But Julia Gillard did say that she’s open to delivering more on climate change and with Tony Abbott’s climate policy in shambles we must take this opportunity to convince her to deliver more to reduce carbon pollution.

We’re running out of time to solve climate change and reduce our rising carbon pollution – and we can’t settle for policies that don’t even veer close to the kind of strong action the science demands. Now is the time to step up our climate change ad campaign:

http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/StopRisingPollution

We know that going to an election simply with yesterday’s weak climate announcement would be untenable. That’s why just minutes ago Julia Gillard announced another part of her plan: an incentive scheme to get old dirty cars off the road. We know the Government will be announcing their policy in stages, gauging the public reaction every step of the way.

This gives us an opportunity. These next 4 weeks offer us the most important moment we have to influence the climate policies of the major parties. We know they never listen to us, the people, as intently as they do during an election campaign.

A credible climate policy must include a price on carbon, real renewable energy investments and a nation building energy efficiency program. These are the most effective and efficient ways to drive back rising levels of pollution. The Coalition have ruled out a real response to climate change. The Labor party is still holding back. The Greens are keen, but they can’t make policy without the government of the day onside.

The word out of Canberra is that our popular climate ad has started to make an impact on the public and politicians. You can show Labor what a credible climate policy looks like by donating to get this ad on the air:

http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/StopRisingPollution

There is still time for Labor to take a serious climate policy to the election–one that stops the rise of carbon pollution in the next 3 years.

In these last few weeks before the election, let’s show them what climate leadership looks like.

Thank you for your commitment,
The GetUp Team

PS – After Kevin Rudd delayed action on climate change, his approval ratings plummeted and he lost the prime ministership. Julia Gillard has a chance to chart a new course–keep this ad on the air to show her the way.

¹ Karl Quinn (in online video clip), ‘Slogans, promises, furphies and sins: election gamesmanship in full spin’, The Age, 22 July 2010.